Happiness
by Apparently Awesome
Summary: Tony can't help but wonder what if's. Would Ziva still be there? Everyone said she'd be back, Gibbs, Abby, but Tony wasn't so sure.


so I wrote this after the the season finalie. I was listening to Happiness by the Fray, and I guess something just clicked. I finally typed up the story, and decided to post it on my Fanfic Day! Yeah, I feel ike when I say Fanfic Day! I should jump in the air and do the little thing where you have your fist up, and you- nevermind, enjoy the stoy!

* * *

Tony sat behind his desk, pen in hand, ready to write his report for his latest case. The tip of his pen rested on the first line and didn't move. He was focused on her desk. Three months, two weeks, and six days now. He counted.

_Happiness was just outside my window_

He'd been replaying the whole scene in his head. The scene that caused him to lose her.

_I thought it'd crash_

It happened so quick.

_Blowing eighty miles an hour_

He found himself often wishing he could take it all back. Maybe she'd be here. Maybe she'd be happy. He didn't want this.

_But happiness is a little more like knocking_

But this… jealousy, pain, drama… they came in; and they tore his world apart.

_On your door, and you just let it in_

Was this how it was supposed to be? Was this how they are supposed to be.

_Happiness feels a lot like sorrow_

Was he supposed to be without her?

_Let it be, you can't make it come or go_

Gibbs said she would be back. Abby was sure of it. She would be back.

_But you are gone, not for good, but for now_

But why did it feel to him… like she was never coming back?

_And gone for now feels a lot like gone for good_

He nibbled on the clicker of his pen and folded his arms, leaning back in his chair. This was bound to blow up in his face.

_Happiness is a fire cracker sitting on my headboard._

When he finally finds someone who he thinks could mean more than just anyone to him…

_Happiness was never mine to hold_

… she'd fall for another,

_Careful child, light the fuse and get away_

And he destroyed her happiness.

_Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks_

He hated happiness. They were supposed to be happy. DiNozzo & David, Tony & Ziva! Where were they?

_Happiness damn near destroys you_

There was no "they," and he was a broken man.

_Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor_

He was just a shell of who he used to be.

_So you tell yourself 'That's enough for now.'_

She was gone, and in a way, he was too.

_But happiness_

And it was his fault.

_Has a violent roar_

He supposed he was never meant to have it. Happiness.

_Happiness, it's like the old man told me_

Just as well. It didn't exist anyway. Not to him.

_But let it go, live your life and leave it_

She didn't love him, and she was never coming back.

_Then one day you'll wake up and she'll be… home_

He took the pen out of his mouth and started his report.

_Home…_

The elevator dinged.

_She'll be…_

The doors opened. He normally looked to see, but not this time.

_She'll be…_

"Tony," he heard McGee call.

_She'll be home…_

"Not now, Probie," he replied.

Tony focused on his paperwork.

_She'll be home…_

"But Tony."

"McGee," he warned.

_She'll be home…_

"DiNozzo," said Gibbs, "Look up."

Tony looked up in frustration.

_She'll be home…_

Frustration quickly left as he locked eyes with her. Ziva…

_She'll be home…_

She was bruised up a bit, which made him angry, but something took him over. A feeling.

_She will be home._

Happiness…

_She'll be home._

He stood from his desk and walked towards her. He could see tears form in her eyes. That hurt him.

_Shell be home._

He wiped them away and kissed her lips gently, forgetting rule 12.

_She'll be._

She hugged him and cried into his blazer. He held her.

"It's okay."

He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm here for you."

"Tony…"

"I'm here for you, Ziva," he whispered, "I'm always here. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be."

* * *

So that song was Happiness by the Fray, a really good song, and I can't wait for Christmas. October, Noveber and December are my favoite months or the year. I bet you can't guess why:0)


End file.
